#031: Dam’s Random Fuckin’ Thoughts

[F.U.C.K. is an e-zine that I started on January 24, 1993 and ended on January 24, 2000. One concept is that articles should be timeless if possible, so they were not released with dates. As such, the date on this blog is not exact but I will try to use a date as close as possible.]


Foreword by OverDriver; Dam was drunk off his fuckin’ ass, so keep that in mind when you read this.


Don’t fuckin ask about this file. This is the free flow of raw emotions and thoughts, and I am near a computer so I guess I will write this down. Who knows, I may never release this file. For the record. I have had several margaritas, a few beers, and a shot of tequila, AND I am watching Pump Up The Volume. That happens to be one of the best fucking movies. Anyway, 50% of the F.U.C.K. members are here, and 75% of the VIRaXe members are here. (if you don’t know what that means, don’t worry about it).

Like the title said, random thoughts. After watching this movie for the umpteenth time you really have to question today’s society and how it affects teenagers. “Society is mutating so fast, that anyone over the age of 20 doesn’t know what is going on.” or something like that. How fuckin’ true is that? No matter what you do, 50% of society looks down on you. They say you are messed up, that you are a failure, or what-the-fuck-ever. I say you are closer to normal than you can ever think. They say you are a failure, but why? Just because you don’t conform to “normal” society expectations, you don’t fit in. Who gives a shit. Don’t fit in, be your own person. Unfortunately I am forced to fit in more than I care for, but when I sit down and think about it, I hate myself for it. Be yourself. ‘Nuff said.

Lessee. What next…ok. F.U.C.K. files. Recently, I have read a few posts by other BBSers, that say F.U.C.K. files are blatant rip-offs of cDc files. First, like I have said before, these are NOT meant to be rip-offs of cDc files. Since F.U.C.K. has been around, I have periodically made sure that the starter of cDc doesn’t have a problem with what I am doing. Each time he has said that these aren’t just cDc wannabes. He (cDc founder) has downloaded every file, and continues to do so. Recently in mail, he has said that he thinks these files aren’t copies of cDc, and that they are different and somewhat cool. Swamp Ratte’ is who I am talking about, and I know him and all, and each time he says he doesn’t have a problem with it. Either way, these are NOT meant to compete with cDc files, but just meant to get ideas floating around other people’s minds. The person who criticized these files say that they suck, and that they are cDc wannabe’s, and that I am on an ego trip. Hmmm. First, do they suck? Maybe, but I doubt it. I am an english major, therefore I have had writing classes, my thoughts aren’t screwed up too much, and that is all they are. Next, cDc wannabe’s. Don’t think so. There are countless other text files that are closer to cDc files than these. Also. Lets say these are meant to be like cDc files. What does that say? It says I like them, and that they are cool. So that makes it like this: 1) I am not copying them. 2) I am copying them and I like them.

Either way, it is cool. Text files are text files. Even if these are like the cDc files, all they are, are text files. They are meant to be read, nothing more. All they are, are my thoughts, on the screen, and other people’s thoughts, nothing else. If my thoughts coincide with thoughts of the cDc authors, then who cares? We are all mortal, have about the same brain compacity, and same thought patterns. If someone copied these files, I would take it as a compliment. cDc will be around for quite a while, and has nothing to fear from a new text file group. Plain and simple. So in conclusion, to the person who says these files suck, think about it.

Next, to any other new text file series out there. I don’t care who you are, or what you are writing. If you are vaguely copying another group, so what? All you are doing is showing that you like a particular group, and that you want your thoughts out among the general BBS population. Nothing wrong with that at all. If you are one who criticizes text files, and say they are boring, then get a clue. They are one of the best things that could happen to the BBS community and anyone else. I have recently found out that someone printed up a few of these files, and took them to school, and showed them to teachers and friend. I really never thought that would happen and when I think about it, I guess that is more than I could have hoped for. All I wanted out of these files is to get a few general thoughts and opinions out among other people that don’t think about things. And apparently I have. I know of someone else that has done the same with cDc files, and other text file series. What more could a text file writer ask for?

BBSing in general. Looks like the debate between “elite” and “newbie” is coming out again here in Lubbock, Texas. There has always been question as to if someone can be “elite” or better than the rest. Some people think that “elite” means that you think you are physically/mentally better than other people. Other people think that “elite” means you have more access around town than other people. Bah. Who gives a shit? I have recently been blamed by others for thinking myself “elite” even though I have not posted the word ‘elite’ in a public post for over three months. Who cares what you call it? Fact is this. Some people have more/better access to BBSs, and other things than other people. Whether you call it ‘elite’ or ‘better’ or whatever it doesn’t matter. It means the same thing, and it means nothing in general. BBSing is a hobby for me like a majority of people. Others take it far more seriously apparently. Some people think that I take it very seriously, and in some cases I do. I care about my board, and what goes on there. I care about the boards I am co-sysop on, and I care about cool boards I am on, that restrict access to. That doesn’t mean they are elite, that just means they have some standards on general access is all. I restrict access to my board because I am tired of bullshit local users that don’t think before they post, and because they don’t know about the “good ole’ days” of BBSing. I don’t have anything really illegal on my board or anything, just that I don’t care for the average BBSer.

So what I am getting at is this. I don’t give a fuck if you hate me, hate my board, hate the text files I started. You are as meaningless to me as most of the other ‘mensch’ I am forced to interact with. People suck, and the more I have to deal with them, the more I hate them. Some people, no names mentioned, call that an ego trip, but I say fuck that. These are the same people that have ego trips as big, if not bigger, than mine. Fuck ego. Who gives a shit if someone has an ego? It is their business. Not yours.

All in all, have an open mind about everything. Especially text files. Text files are opinions, and nothing more. If you can’t respect someone else’s opinions, then you oughta be shot in the fucking head. You are a menace to society, and don’t deserve to live. Plain and simple. Keep an open mind about EVERYTHING and this world will be a fucking decent place to live. Not quite this shithole it is now.

Bah. Another person who is sober, has told me that this file is coherent surprisingly. We just talked about this whole file for several minutes now. They tell me to say “Fuck you” to whoever says these files suck, but if it is your opinion, then it is yours, and I have no say in the matter.

Believe what you want. Read these files based on your OWN opinions, not those of someone else on an ago trip. heh.

PS: This is not written to any specific person. cough

#029: Time Passed

[F.U.C.K. is an e-zine that I started on January 24, 1993 and ended on January 24, 2000. One concept is that articles should be timeless if possible, so they were not released with dates. As such, the date on this blog is not exact but I will try to use a date as close as possible.]


With an audible sigh, the teenager sat back wishing class would finally end. It had been over an hour since he sat down, listening to the endless babble from the figure at the front of the classroom. Right above the professor was a huge clock. Why do they always put the clock right in front of you, constantly reminding you of how long you had to wait before leaving. Two more minutes before he was free for the rest of the afternoon. ‘Damn. Nothing ever happens during the last few minutes of class.’ He slumped down in his chair again, wishing the prof would end the class. Glancing around and back toward the front he mumbled ‘One more minute. Nothing happens.’

11:14.01 – A baby boy was just born to Thomas and Mary in New Hampshire.
11:14.02 – Three people die in a five car pile up on a Los Angeles freeway system.
11:14.03 – A computer hacker transfers $100,000 into an anonymous account for a later date.
11:14.04 – Tibetan monks begin their weekly fast.
11:14.05 – Two five year olds are abused by their mother. One is hit too hard, and dies.
11:14.06 – A young teen writes a text file, condemning the current American government and cursing the political situation.
11:14.07 – Fire consumes a three story building, burning two people alive.
11:14.08 – Gang fights break out in Detroit.
11:14.09 – Another computer virus is released into the world of computers.
11:14.10 – A disgruntled postal employee takes the lives of two of his fellow employees before taking his own life.
11:14.11 – Another book is banned from a school library.
11:14.12 – Michael Jordon just made another thousand dollars because one of his commercials aired.
11:14.13 – Another 9 year old died, because someone else wanted his Air Jordan shoes.
11:14.14 – An oil freighter hits a reef, spilling its contents into the ocean killing thousands of animals, and ruining a public beach.
11:14.15 – Danielle, 17 year old daughter of Mary Ellen, runs away, and begins a life of prostitution.
11:14.16 – A ship leaves the U.S., carrying arms. At the same time, another ship leaves Peru, with cargo holds full of drugs.
11:14.17 – A foreign diplomat walks away from a crime scene, absolved of a crime because of diplomatic immunity.
11:14.18 – Another young man joins the ranks of the Ku Klux Klan.
11:14.19 – A congressman steals $50,000. Again.
11:14.20 – 17 more die of starvation in a third world nation.
11:14.21 – A dozen people are scared for their lives, as an armed robber levels a shotgun at them during his robbery.
11:14.22 – Satellite photos confirm the construction of two more nuclear war heads in China.
11:14.23 – Two Mexican citizens are stopped from crossing over into the U.S.
11:14.24 – A college student sits in his room, and completes a crack for a newly released game.
11:14.25 – A software programmer in California enjoys the success of his new game, but realizes thousands of people are enjoying his game, and they never paid for it.
11:14.26 – Two guys watch their friend die from an overdose of cocaine.
11:14.27 – Another of the great Blue whales die at the hands of ruthless hunters.
11:14.28 – Police uncover the bodies of two missing teenagers, found mutilated in some thick woods.
11:14.29 – A tornado in Kansas wipes out 32 homes, 7 cars, and takes the life of 2 people.
11:14.30 – A bullet spirals through the air over a short area, pierces the chest of a man in South America. The C.I.A. has finished another mission.

‘Damn. This clock is so slow. Come on, only 30 more seconds…’

11:14.31 – A technician at a nearby computer store, replaces a disk drive, and upgrades my system.
11:14.32 – A police officer dies in the line of duty.
11:14.33 – Three teachers are fired from a public school due to budget cuts.
11:14.34 – Another housing project opens up, providing homes for more than 300 homeless.
11:14.35 – The electric chair claims the life of one more mass murderer.
11:14.36 – John wakes up after a passionate night with Susan. John has AIDS and will die in less than 5 years.
11:14.37 – Two elementary school kids break out in a fight. Neither thinking of talking to resolve their problems.
11:14.38 – Only open for 15 minutes, ‘Dave’s Beer and Wine’ has sold 17 bottles of hard liquor.
11:14.39 – A gay man is persecuted in the U.S. Army.
11:14.40 – Over a thousand pieces of mail just got sent from all over the world on Internet.
11:14.41 – The FCC finished another investigation because the word ‘shit’ was used in a public broadcast.
11:14.42 – A 42 year old man cries behind closed doors, trying to cope with the stressful environment he is forced to work in.
11:14.43 – Detectives file away a case on another homicide that can’t be solved.
11:14.44 – Answering a phone call, a yuppie gets in a car wreck because he wasn’t paying attention. A three year old boy, and a two year old girl lie dead.
11:14.45 – A chemical plant just dumped 1040 gallons of nuclear waste into a nearby stream.
11:14.46 – An athlete in Georgia does his daily steroids in preparation for the upcoming Olympics.
11:14.47 – A judge just accepted a bribe, and a known criminal walked free.
11:14.48 – The N.S.A. just locked away more files concerning alien life forms and their business here.
11:14.49 – Neo-Nazi youth groups just added more members.
11:14.50 – A grave was just dug up, the looter in search for jewelry buried with the corpse.
11:14.51 – With an almost silent snap, Christine, an 18 year old female ends her life by hanging herself.
11:14.52 – After 84 years, Phil, dies of natural causes, his story untold.
11:14.53 – A small riot breaks out from a ‘peaceful’ demonstration.
11:14.54 – Marcus, a street beggar in Washington DC, has made over $130 this morning begging travelers for spare change.
11:14.55 – Three gang members die from gunshot wounds in Detroit.
11:14.56 – $250,000 is lost in a game of ’21’ somewhere in Los Vegas.
11:14.57 – A shotgun goes off, ending the life of a 23 year old male, under too much academic pressure.
11:14.58 – A rich computer hacker is interrupted by seven armed Secret Service agents during a federal raid.
11:14.59 – Four soldiers die in the Mid East as a grenade hits at their feet. Two more are wounded.
11:15.00 – Class lets out.

‘Free at last!’ he thinks as he bolts out of the classroom.

Just because nothing happens in your immediate sight, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.