Box of Shit: The Kat Variance

For those who know about the sordid history of the Box of Shit, you know where the name comes from. While some may have thoughtful touches and some personalized items, they are generally fun junk. Behold, the Kat variance! After sending a true box of shit to her, a couple months pass and I get an epic, wonderfully prepared, designer box of greatness that surprised me several times over. Timing worked out so I opened it on Christmas and voilà, I had my own celebration in a box. But first, I had to taunt her, to make sure I was giving back as much as she gave me, even before I knew what that was. Given the pandemic, I of course had to let it stew for a bit before I could open it… for safety.

When I did, boy was I surprised. It was just like something you get wrapped at one of those tables in the mall before Christmas day, staffed by four elderly ladies that know how to wrap shit.

Four individually wrapped presents, a cloth sack, and four hidden candy canes surrounded by little strands of tissue ribbon worms that kind of haunt my dreams now. I found two going through my desk drawers this morning. The lush squirrels toasting the holidays were a nice touch but I think they are controlling the worms now. Do they look innocent to you?!

Anyway, if you look closely you may notice that they have orders dictating the order to be opened. But nothing about that little cloth sack. Do I open it first? Last? Dealer’s choice? This of course drove me crazy because you can’t violate the spirt of a box of shit, thems the rules dammit. Technically, I should open it after the third since that would not beak any rules, if you think about it. But I opened it first because I didn’t think about that until writing this blog. #fail

As a collector of squirrel currency (yes, it’s a thing!) and tokens, but not challenge coins, this was a great surprise. While I don’t collect them, I see a lot with my morning mails telling me what “squirrel coins” were put up for auction. “Squirrel challenge coin“, see? Despite that, I had never seen this variation of a secret squirrel challenge coin! Win! On to the first box…

A box of squirrel paper clips. Brilliant! Because what animal is more known for organizing than squirrels! Not only had I never seen these, I am actually running low on paper clips. The next time I print out emails and hand them to someone, beautifully bound with these, they will be impressed. Box #2…

Squirrels, the game! Collect Nuts, Cause Mayhem, Make Terrible Squirrel puns! Yes, yes, and more yes! At squirrel nutworking events I am known for cracking a good joke before I leaf for the night. The best part… never seen this game before. Three for three! Box #3…

The nanoblock NBC_178, aka the Squirrel! If you are looking at it thinking it is a Chipmunk, you are wrong (notice the tail). And even if you were right they are in the Sciuridae family! Now, I have seen this and even built one before, that completed pic is from last year. But, I asked if I should re-gift or build again and put on my second desk and I was told the second desk it is. So I have another lego project in my future. The hidden bonus? Nanoblock kits come with quite a few extra pieces; enough to make two extra acorns even. =) Box #4…

This one was a two-fer! First, an amazing squirrel puzzle box that I have never seen! Once opened, it came with some breath mints or the largest Quaaludes you’ve ever seen. TBD. Along with those was this great necklace that features a 1 Øre coin from Norway, known for it’s prominent squirrel featured. Most people who have received a box or envelope of shit from me have received one of these coins, but never in such great condition and never as part of a necklace. Some people wear patron saint necklaces and now I have my own.

So there you go, an absolutely incredible box that ascends past the title of ‘Box of Shit’. This was a box of brilliance.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s