The Uncertain Future of Necco Wafers and the Logical Response

Recently, the Necco wafer factory abruptly shut down after the company sold it to an “unknown buyer”.

The footer to that image reads: “Necco, the oldest candy company in the country, abruptly shut down its Revere, Mass. factory on July 26, and left about 230 workers jobless. (Reuters)”

Yes, the oldest candy company in the country! This is history right here. We must preserve and honor it, do everything we can to preserve it, even if a tiny majority of Americans enjoy Necco wafers (like me)! I’m not the only one… Newsweek reports, “Fans stock up as America’s Oldest Candy Company Faces Closure”.

I caught wind of this several months ago, and as a fan of Necco wafers, I was obviously worried. So I did what any red-blooded, patriotic, Type-1 diabetic American would do… I bought some.

I bought 154 rolls of Necco wafers, including the rare Sour ones that are doubly delicious.

That is 33,850 calories of Necco wafers.

That is 8,624 carbohydrates (sugar) of Necco wafers.

And my insurance provider tried to tell me and my doctor that I didn’t need insulin as a Type-1 diabetic. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

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Box of Shit from Chris Sistrunk

After sending a glorious box of shit to Chris Sistrunk (@chrissistrunk), he decided to continue the fine tradition of such boxes and send one back to me.

sistrunk-revenge-box

First, let’s be clear, the bowl of peanuts was not in the box. Chris would never give up peanuts, as he loves feeding his numerous squirrels. Second, let’s be clear, that book is awesome. If you work in the Energy Sector and deal with it in any meaningful way, it is imperitive you pick up a copy of “SCADA and Me: A Book for Children and Management“. As we learn, “is SCADA in the cloud?” No, that would be stupid.

In the theme of animals, the box included a purple hippo that is no doubt hungry, an old fashioned QCat (I think someone in #303 was after that recently), and a PhishMe keyring.

In the sticker mess, a classic “What could possibly go wrong?” that doesn’t flip over to say “EVERYTHING”, a Mississippi Pint Raising one, Lazy Magnolia brewery, a starry ‘pwn’ one, and a fun warning sticker that will stop me from stealing copper cables while sober.

Pretty sure that King of Clubs is some hint to a passphrase to get into that Department of Homeland Security CSET CD. #kodez

The orange tape I can auction off on eBay for sure; who doesn’t want a Chipmunks tape?! I bet @KickFroggy will be the first to bid too.

Ear plugs, a box of Nerds, and a Camo Condom really make me wonder about Chris. Being from the deep south, pretty sure that is how he found the wife.

Along with the usual BoS staples like bottle caps, pens, and buttons, he sent two awesome USB dongle warning tabs that remind us that bad things can come on free USB sticks. Pretty sure for the irony value, he will send me a USB stick in a few weeks.