April 2021 Reviews

[A summary of my movie and TV reviews from last month, posted to Attrition.org, mixed in with other reviews.]


Bad Trip (2021)
Medium: Movie (Netflix)
Rating: 4.5/5 fingercuffs what?!
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Netflix
If pranks aren’t your thing, move on now. If pranks are your thing, then this is your new jam. Eric André brings his physical humor to bear in a series of pranks that are hilarious and sometimes disgusting. The premise is a simple road trip for two friends from FL to NY to pursue a “love interest”, with Tiffany Haddish playing the escaped felon protagonist chasing the guys for “stealing” her car. Several of the pranks are not only Rated R, but certainly not for young ones or those easily disgusted. If dark, sick humor born out of pranking people is appealing, this movie should keep you laughing.


Barbaren / Barbarians (2020)
Medium: TV (Netflix)
Rating: 4/5 nothing like potato cakes, jalapeno poppers, and a beefy sandwich for breakfast
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Netflix || Trailer
This six episode series plays out the battle of the Teutoburg Forest between Germanic tribes and a Roman Empire legion occupying their territory. The big point of intrigue is that an officer in the legion was German-born and taken by the Romans as a child. His allegiance is in question fairly early, setting us to wonder which side he will help. The show starts out a bit slow to introduce the players, establish each side, and eventually build up to the historic battle. The Germanic tribes end up led by Thusnelda, wonderfully played by Jeanne Goursaud, under a tenuous supposition but proves her loyalty and dedication to the tribes shortly before battle. The story is simple, acting good, and the story climax is worth the wait.


A Knight’s Tale (2001)
Medium: Movie (Netflix)
Rating: 5/5 the tale gets better every time you watch it
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Trailer
I started re-watching this movie again recently), and I was reminded how it is such a fun movie. I love how they ‘modernized’ it a bit with clever music integration. Queen’s “We Will Rock You” at one point in the lists while waiting for a knight and then again for David Bowie’s “Golden Years” during the banquet and dance scene. Since jousting might be a bit boring watching it over and over, the cinematography was well-done with lead-ins to the jousts and well-executed slow motion pauses. Overall this movie brings the laughs and definitely the feels, so make sure you have onions nearby to cast blame elsewhere.

March 2021 Reviews

[A summary of my movie and TV reviews from last month, posted to Attrition.org, mixed in with other reviews.]


Coming 2 America (2021)
Medium: Movie (Amazon)
Rating: 4/5 Zamunda Ministry of Propaganda approves
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
Thirty years later, a sequel that was never supposed to happen according to Arsenio Hall. I’m glad they changed their mind! While a sequel that largely follows the same plot of the first, the movie does a good job of giving equal time to the new characters while giving a very healthy dose of cameos and an incredible amount of the original cast who returned. Wesley Snipes plays the goofiest, over-the-top, African warlord and he delivers. Jermaine Fowler and KiKi Layne are the breakout stars, and Leslie Jones who I usually don’t care for at all did a great job with her character. Very light-hearted and the movie doesn’t take itself seriously one bit, the way it should be.


Cosmic Sin (2021)
Medium: Movie
Rating: 0/5 This movie is the sin
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing
Yes, the first ‘0’ review. This movie is every bad cliché you’ve seen in a war or sci-fi movie, combined with the worst dialogue, a healthy dose of continuity failure, and just total shit for the rest. Year is 2524, quantum travel, colonizing planets, aliens? Sure, I can suspend disbelief to enjoy that. Every single bit after that? Nope. It’s hard to describe just how bad it is, how every scene is a “what?” or “that makes no sense!” Add to that the most ridiculous armor, gliding through space wearing mostly normal clothes, and silly aliens. There were two big scenes that seemed like material was left on the cutting room floor, leaving me to wonder what even happened. One question asked in the movie several times is “was the encounter positive or negative for both sides?” Negative for me, thanks for asking


I Care A Lot (2020)
Medium: Movie (Netflix)
Rating: 4.5/5 a classic evil vs evil battle
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Netflix
This is a crime movie, from start to finish. I had a notion of what the movie was about going into it, but it had a nice escalation moving past what I thought it was. There are no good people in this movie, not a single one; and that makes it fun and interesting. Pike is the standout star for sure, and Dinklage does a pretty good job playing a character that doesn’t immediately remind you of Tyrion Lannister (a challenge to be sure). One thing I really enjoyed was trying to guess who would come out on top, how it would end, and if it would be satisfying. I guessed wrong and it was quite enjoyable. The only complaint is the movie name; it just doesn’t fit to me.


Point Blank (2019)
Medium: Movie (Netflix)
Rating: 2/5 What’s the point? [This space intentionally left blank]
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Netflix
An ER nurse and a career criminal are forced into an unlikely partnership in taking down a ring of corrupt cops threatening the lives of both their families. The film is a remake of the 2010 French film of the same name, originally called “Àbout portant“. I suspect this is a shitty remake of the original because it is a long series of boring clichés for the most part. The only refreshing thing is that Anthony Mackey, who is muscular, gets his ass handed to him because he is a doctor and not a fighter. I’d skip this one.


Cherry (2021)
Medium: Movie (Apple)
Rating: 5/5 definitely not cheery
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Trailer
Despite primarily covering a small part of the lives of two characters, wonderfully played by Ciara Bravo and Tom Holland, the movie has an epic feel to it. That is helped by the movie having no lulls; scenes are only as long as they need to be before advancing to the next event. We’re given the story of an unnamed character coming of age through love, war, drugs, and crime. Throughout, the one constant in his life is his love for Emily even when the relationship is perhaps the worst thing for either of them. The acting, narration, and cinematography is outstanding and this movie is worth the watch.


3022 (2019)
Medium: Movie (Multiple)
Rating: 0.5/5 space junk, figuratively speaking
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
This movie is supposed to be set in the year 2190, but every single part of the technology suggests it was set in 2005. I like when Sci-Fi leans away from making everything bright and full of beeps, but this runs in the opposite direction full tilt. That means the show, with a small cast set in a small space station, needs to carry the movie. And it simply did not do that. It feels like each person was filmed giving their lines without any co-stars around for tense scenes. Very little sense of chemistry and a lot of dialogue seemed unnatural. Avoid this trash.


The Ballad of Lefty Brown (2017)
Medium: Movie (Multiple)
Rating: 2/5 It’s a sad song
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
I appreciate a good western, and I know a good one may be a little slow compared to other genres. This definitely fits the bill and revolves around a simple plot at first; Lefty vows to find the killer of his best friend. The cast is stellar, full of big names, yet none of the performances really stand out. Pullman plays Lefty well but the character just wasn’t compelling to me. Flanagan’s acting is over-the-top and he plays a boring stereotype. Caviezel’s stoic tough guy is boring and seemingly his normal go-to role. After the simple plot aspect concludes, the movie falls short on the rest of it giving the impression the writers felt they needed filler to round it out.


Unknown (2011)
Medium: Movie (Multiple)
Rating: 3.5 / 5 needs more ‘thrill’ in the ‘thriller’ designation
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Trailer
This is a tough movie to review without spoilers, so maybe an anti-spoiler? You know something is coming at the end, to resolve the entire premise and plot of the movie. It does a poor job giving hints to let you guess which direction it will go, so you are on a scenic ride with no ability to look out the side windows. The one time they do give you a hint, you only realize it in hindsight because they don’t actually give you a hint. It comes across as “wait… that is poor writing” when there is a reason for it. Liam Neeson is very Liam in this movie where he plays Liam who gets a bump on the head and wakes up with some memory loss, only to find someone pretending to be him, and he has to figure it out.


SAS: Red Notice (2021)
Medium: Movie (multiple)
Rating: 1 / 5 Throw a red card on this one
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
Ruby Rose stars in this movie with guns and badasses and shooting and fights and stuff. If that doesn’t sound exciting, neither was the movie. Rose plays for the evil side this time, not the proverbial “good guy”. The lead guy on the good side was so boring I mistook him for an extra until a few scenes in. As you might guess, the movie is full of plot holes and has quite the predictable ending. No one stands out in this movie as far as acting and there are several recognizable faces, none from notable shows either. Skip it unless you need to get sleep.

February 2021 Reviews

[A summary of my movie and TV reviews from last month, posted to Attrition.org, mixed in with other reviews.]


Outside the Wire (2021)
Medium: Movie (Netflix)
Rating: 1 / 5 Keep it outside your watch list
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Netflix
I wanted to like this movie, I really did. But it just starts out absurd at so many levels. It feels like someone wrote the script, a second person made serious edits, a third, and so on. Until you get a cohesive plot, but missing logic throughout. An unsupervised AI in a sci-fi body, contrasted by robot “Gumps” that are idiots and can’t shoot too well, a command structure that of course sends the new guy on a crazy mission, a drone operator that knows the streets of every city apparently, and that AI who is never wrong … of course is wrong? This had potential but it was squandered.


Coyote Season 1
Medium: TV (CBS All Access)
Rating: 4/5 No moleste por favor
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
If you are wondering what happened to Michael Chiklis, he’s back! This time as a just-retired Border & Customs agent that finds himself on the other side of the border trying to do right by his former partner’s family. This quickly leads him down a path where he finds himself involved in the cartel and that is just the first messy part of his new life. No car chases, no shoot-outs, just a good slow build drama worth the watch.


Underwater (2020)
Medium: Movie (Multiple)
Rating: 0.5/5 drown yourself in booze before watching
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
Another disaster porn meets horror movie of sorts! And like most (all?), it’s a perfect string of coincidences and a boring recipe that advances the ‘plot’ forward. Just the right amount of suits! They are all magically the right size, even for people that have never used them! Science and physics take a backseat! T.J. Miller, the bad writer’s comic crutch, who literally has to say a ‘funny’ line every single time! Ending? Predictable, stupid, and a bad attempt to get philosophical (?) making it that much worse. Skip this trash.


The Next Three Days (2010)
Medium: Movie (Netflix)
Rating: 4.5/5 … are pretty dramatic
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
Russell Crowe, Elizabeth Banks, Olivia Wilde, Aisha Hinds, Jason Beghe, Lennie James, and a cameo by Liam Neeson… and I missed this movie? Maybe bad previews originally? I’m glad this popped up on Netflix’ recommendations; this as a well-done movie. Simple plot, but great casting, and fed you enough morsels to string you along to make you anticipate how it would end. This movie delivered all around with flawed but real characters at every turn and the willingness to leave some threads unpulled, where other movies might have wasted time on it.


Seungriho / Space Sweepers (2021)
Medium: Movie (Netflix)
Rating: 4.5/5 Modern space cyberpunk
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Netflix
Set in 2092, with Earth on its last legs, we start out following a rag-tag crew of a ship that tries to collect space debris, which they can sell for cash. Barely scraping by, each living the life for their own reason and varied past, the money to get them out of poverty is always out of reach. When they find a surprise in junk they collect, it starts a crazy adventure that promises money they could only dream of. This South Korean movie has excellent production value, good acting, an aggressive plot, and brings the feel of a future that is part dystopia, part cyberpunk. The only challenge was keeping up with the subtitles during the fast-pace scenes. This is a fun ride with a good dose of the feels.


Silk Road (2021)
Medium: Movie (Apple)
Rating: 2/5 Long and meandering like its namesake
Reviewer: jericho
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Apple TV
This is the 2021 movie, not the 2017 movie, about the Silk Road marketplace and the person behind it. The actual story is fascinating and full of suspense and drama. The impact the Silk Road marketplace had on part of the world for a while was incredible. This movie adaptation was probably fairly accurate, but also fairly dull for anyone already familiar with the subject matter. If you don’t know about the marketplace and saga around it, you will probably enjoy this movie a bit more.

January 2021 Reviews

[A summary of my movie and TV reviews from last month, posted to Attrition.org, mixed in with other reviews.]


Soul (2020)
Medium: Movie (Disney)
Rating: 5/5 movie and music magic
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Disney
Disney knows how to do modern cartoons and this is no exception. The story follows Joe, a school band teacher who seems to have lost his way. As he sees a spark of passion in one student’s musical ability and then lands the gig of his life, he has a mishap and finds himself at the pearly gates but refuses to accept that fate. In limbo Joe runs into an odd one known as “22” and finds himself on an adventure to help 22 find a spark so that they can live a life on earth. The movie has a great stride and flows very well with an amazing cast of vocal talent as well as some incredible music by an unlikely trio, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the original score and John Batiste with original jazz songs. The movie brings the laughs and the feels and is perfect for all ages.


Kajillionaire (2020)
Medium: Movie (Netflix)
Rating: 4.5/5 stick with it
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
This quirky movie is billed as a Crime/Drama but as far as modern movies go, that is about the farthest thing from what it really is. It’s more of a slow-play dry commentary on the nature of humans and how odd we can be, with a splash of low-end grifting, wrapped into a family-dynamic sleeper hit that also moonlights as a love-story. For me, it started out slow and confused as I couldn’t figure out what type of movie it was. About half-way through I was hooked as I realized it wasn’t trying to be any specific genre; it just did its thing with Evan Rachel Wood stealing the show. If you dig on off-the-beaten-path flicks, this one is worth a go.


Greenland (2020)
Medium: Movie (Multiple)
Rating: 2/5 the title is the most redeeming quality
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
It must have been a few years since the last earth-snuffing porn, as we tend to get one movie like that every so often, although more recently in the form of plagues and zombies. Gerard Butler and end of the world, pretty much tells you what you need to know about this movie. All the stereotypical things from this genre of movie too; poorly manufactured explosions to tide you over before the real city-snuffing comes, impromptu gangs that make no sense, cell service outages for plot advancement, and really bad dialogue snippets. I definitely like I watched this so you wouldn’t have to.


Lupin, Part 1 (2020)
Medium: TV (Netflix)
Rating: 3.9/5 pas une série de braquages
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Netflix
This 10 episode series is described as “inspired by the adventures of Arsène Lupin, gentleman thief Assane Diop sets out to avenge his father for an injustice inflicted by a wealthy family”. The first episode of five in part one sets the stage of a master thief and the heist of a 20-million dollar piece of jewelry. Unfortunately, we quickly learn that the main character is not really a master thief. While he has skill in makeup, blending in, and pickpocketing, there are no other grand heists involved. Instead, it becomes more of a drama around avenging his father’s death with the thief / con man / grifter components as a side piece to facilitate the main story. Overall it is fairly entertaining but entirely too predictable and not very thought-provoking. Great for falling asleep to.


News of the World (2020)
Medium: Movie (Multiple)
Rating: 3.5/5 bit of a slow read
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
We follow Captain Kidd (Tom Hanks) as he travels from town to town reading the “news of the world”. Along the way he encounters a young girl, Johanna, played by Helena Zengel, who has grown up in an Indian tribe that was decimated by whites and speaks no English. Kidd decides to take her to the family she was going to before becoming stranded, and the story progresses. Given the movie stars Hanks and is a period piece, I expected an amazing movie. Unfortunately it just didn’t come together and became disjointed the farther it went. At almost two hours it still felt like parts ended up on the cutting room floor that might have tied some of the beginning to the end better. Worth a watch, wait for it to hit Netflix.


Freaks (2018)
Medium: Movie (Netflix)
Rating: 4/5 every single character is a freak
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Netflix
This Canadian-made super-(anti)-hero movie is a different style than many movies of the genre. It starts out a bit slow and leaves you wondering what is happening and some of those questions go unanswered until very late in the movie. But it has a good slow buildup, good casting, a simple premise, and a solid conclusion. Slightly dystopian where anyone with any power is labeled a ‘freak’ and hunted by the government. This movie doesn’t spoon feed you a simple person with powers like most mainstream films of the sort. Worth a watch.


Joker (2019)
Medium: Movie (HBO Max)
Rating: 5/5 he’ll laugh, you’ll laugh
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
I saw this in theaters, you know, just before the society-crippling pandemic robbed us of basic joys. I left the theater confused, not sure if I really liked the movie or really didn’t. By that night, after a discussion with Lyger, I realized that I really liked it. I re-watched it recently and still really enjoy it. The biggest factor is that it is a complete break from the DC universe as far as style goes. While we have seen Batman’s origin story, in one form or another, many times over, the villain’s origin stories are often relegated to fairly quick scenes (Suicide Squad) or not explored (The Dark Knight). Having an entire movie to see how Todd Phillips’ envisioned this iconic villain’s origin was worth the adventure. This movie leans a bit toward Nolan’s Batman trilogy as far as feel and is the polar opposite of other DC offerings like Superman, Wonder Woman, or Aquaman. Forget the DC universe when you go into this, just focus on this movie and Phoenix’s incredible portrayal of Joker.


Aquaman (2018)
Medium: Movie (Multiple)
Rating: 0.5/5 this movie s(t)inks
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
For some reason, DC Comics has a problem making good movies with few exceptions, and this isn’t Nolan’s Batman or Wonder Woman. Instead, Aquaman had the feel of a franchise desperate to create the feel of a Marvel Universe movie. Every single thing was predictable, cliché, and boring. “There’s too many casualties!” But let’s stop for a sloppy wet kiss of course. Seriously, we need a new word for “overdone movie cliché”. They tried to make this by loading it with big names but as we often see, put that many big names together and they still can’t save a movie. Skip this, take a bath instead.


Prospect (2018)
Medium: Movie (Netflix)
Rating: 4.5/5 I dig it
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Netflix
A sci-fi movie I hadn’t heard of that turned out pretty damn good, what gives? Oh, Pedro Pascal is in it and he has enjoyed a little attention recently. This movie has a small cast set on some distant world where brave adventurers go to prospect a part of an alien life form that requires some skill and finesse rather than brute strength. When a father / daughter duo touch down chasing the ultimate score, things go sideways. The movie is more of a thriller and sci-fi a vehicle to deliver the underlying story, which is compelling and well-done. If you can look past a few simple plot holes, you may find this movie really enjoyable like I did.


Rememory (2017)
Medium: Movie (Netflix)
Rating: 3.5/5 A bit forgettable
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
Sam, the main character played by Peter Dinklage, injects himself into the life of a brilliant scientist who is brilliant, and the movie makes sure you know he is brilliant. The science is being able to record and playback memories, ala Strange Days. But for some reason Sam plays back mostly on a tiny screen in a briefcase that is the device. Anyway, he ends up in the middle of the life and murder of this scientist and decides to find out who did it, with this new technology being the central piece of the story. Ultimately, the movie has some neat ideas, good acting, but just falls short as it all doesn’t fully come together. It’s the kind where you can’t quite put your finger on it but just know something was lacking.

The Misery (Index) Data

The Misery Index is a game on TBS hosted by Jameela Jamil, starring The Tenderloins, better known as the Impractical Jokers (Joe Gatto, Brian Quinn, James Murray, Sal Vulcano). You can read more about the format and style of the game on its Wikipedia page. They bring humor to the game to augment the humor of the subject matter; “miserable” events depicted in news, text, or video.

Each miserable incident is scored by a team of psychologists based on the “three pillars of misery” which are “physical pain, emotional trauma, and long-term psychological impact“. That boils it down to a numeric score between 0 and 100. After watching a few episodes I was curious how they compared… so I made a spreadsheet. Big surprise there, I know. The more I watched, the more metadata I started tracking ultimately having to re-watch some past episodes to pick out data I hadn’t originally collected. In doing so it brought fun rewards quickly.

For example, in S02E09, contesting Katherine says that Sal helped win the most money during first season (10 episodes) and Brian ‘Q’ Quinn came in second. In reality, Sal helped win $64,000 while Q helped bring in $71,000. Either way, sound choice as they bring in the most by a good margin over the other two Jokers up to that point. Even better that she watched the first 10 episodes with that data point in mind. But… how about getting to that final stage where the big money is? Knowing how miserable events are scored is what it takes. That’s where this data comes in.

If you want to get on this game show you now have everything you need to better understand scoring and be ready for events. Even knowing, for example, that no event has been scored lower than 11 can help immensely in the final stage. The data:

Tab 1, “Ep Metadata” includes the season/episode number, air date, contestants, the two Jokers paired with each, winner, winner’s gender, final stage Joker assistant, total won, and notes. By the end of the second season there were four “perfect games” where the contestant won the maximum amount ($33,000 during a normal game, $50,000 during the Christmas special). Finally, it includes a running total of the prize money to date, $607,500 by the end of season two.

Tab 2, “Misery Data” is the meat of it while containing relatively few columns, but representing the most work. It includes the episode number, the miserable incident as listed on the game board, the score, a VNTO designation, the reward, if the contestant won the money, and comments. The VNTO designation indicates the format of the event which is a video, news article, text, or ‘other’. The column with the reward is color coded green or red to indicate if they won or lost that money. The time-consuming part is in column B, that lists the miserable incident but also links to it. I actually spent the time finding the exact news article or video in most cases. More on that in a bit.

Tab 3, “Statistics” is where we get the fun digestible information and the bigger take-aways like there being a single miserable incident scored at 100 or the average score of all incidents across two seasons is 56.0. It also has joker pairings, types of media totals, contestant breakdowns, and more.

Tab 4, “Charts” is a set of visual representations of the statistics, because people like colors and shapes!

Jumping back to finding the exact news article or video, that effort made it very clear early on that the news article headlines they show are often not real. The show will take the headline and make minor edits to it presumably for readability and to convey the relevant points. That’s fine, I get it. But… the problem is that on rare occasion they actually leave out something specific that might drastically alter the misery score. What isn’t clear is if the panel that scored knew that detail. Let’s look at the biggest example:

In a video clip from ABC News, the show includes some of the audio recording and transcription as seen above. The contestants are asked to then score “Your Doctor Disses You During Surgery“. OK, based on that info you consider the three pillars and make your guess and maybe you got it right (51) or maybe you guessed lower because some people said mean things behind your back. The real question is, did the panelists score based on that or did they have knowledge that it resulted in a malpractice suit that yielded $500,000 for the victim? Pretty sure that would drop the misery quite a bit. These little omissions are interesting since they can impact the game, but a contestant has no way of knowing the missing details or if it was factored in on a score.

So, there we have it! Going into season three, hopefully contestants choose Sal (213k) or Q (190k) in the final round instead of Joe (144k) or Murr (60.5k). I know it seems like Murr doesn’t do well but he has only been selected four times as compared to Sal who was selected 11 times. With that factored in, that means Sal only averages $19,363 and Murr $15,125. But when you are playing for that kind of money, every dollar matters.

Hopefully this data will help future contestants! If you notice any errors in my data please leave a comment so I can fix it up. As time permits, I will continue to update the sheet if the show for future episodes. Enjoy!

The Misery Index Data

December 2020 Reviews

[A summary of my movie and TV reviews from last month, posted to Attrition.org, mixed in with other reviews.]


The Queen’s Gambit (2020)
Rating: 5/5 check it out mate
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Netflix
This miniseries, based on a 1983 book with the same name, is a fictional story about a chess prodigy turned master. It has the feeling of a real story and the producing, sets, and acting strongly lend to this. The main character, played by Anya Taylor-Joy, does an epic job playing a character who has personality quirks and addiction issues. The story is set many decades ago and gives a good reminder of the expectations about women in society. While chess may not seem to be a good basis for a fast-pace drama, the series does a wonderful job maintaining a good pace. I highly recommend this series for everyone.


Tenet (2020)
Rating: 5/5 – Action-packed mind-fuck
Reference(s): IMDB Listing
OK, you have to see Tenet. I think i liked it a lot? But I won’t be sure until I see it a second time. At least. Maybe a third time? It is a very cerebral movie and it makes Inception look like a cartoon in some ways. There are several layers and I think on a second watch I will probably notice a lot of things that would have helped keep up / understand along the way the first time through. Things that are better revealed toward the end as the movie progresses and evolves that will potentially make it more enjoyable the second time around. Very neat movie; great casting, great acting, and it really draws you in.


Ted Lasso (2020) [Apple TV]
Rating: 5/5 better than a biscuit, which is a cookie
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Apple
This comedy from Apple TV stars Jason Sudeikis as “Ted Lasso”, an American football coach recruited to coach a British football (soccer) team. It’s basically Gomer Pyle (Lasso) meets Major League (plot) to start and it delivers. Sudeikis does a wonderful job playing the always upbeat transplant assisted by coach Beard (Brendan Hunt) as they are immersed in a new culture and new sport at the same time. It’s not a sports show at all, it’s just about the people and interactions with goofy analogies and quick wit. Very light and well-done comedy, worth the watch.


Devs (2020) [Hulu]
Rating: 4.9/5 I have seen what perfection has wrought
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
You think you have seen interesting or compelling tech company drama? You haven’t until you watch this, and you will. You will understand the concept of quantum computing before you start the show and you will embrace the many-worlds theory. You find this review confusing now but it will become clear, until it doesn’t again. And then you will find yourself the god in the machine while you ponder the implications of when computing power goes too far. You will then enjoy your new state of enlightenment and make better choices.

Described as a drama/thriller when mindfuck is more apt. This show does a great job of making you think about serious implications that quantum computing could bring. While it is certainly sci-fi in the level of computing power suggested, it creates a nice vehicle to let us have a glimpse into what “quantum supremacy” might mean.


Marauders (2016)
Rating: 4.5/5 But i’m a sucker for heist flicks
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
Bruce Willis, Christopher Meloni, and Dave Bautista in a cops and robbers movie and somehow I completely missed this movie existed until I saw it on a Netflix scroll?! As a fan of the genre and generally not too critical of such movies, this one was surprisingly good. None of the acting stood out particularly but none of it was bad. A couple extra decent actors and the movie came together pretty well. Until halfway through I was wondering which way it would go as far as the “who done it” goes. The ending? Not how I would have played it out. If you like the genre, it’s worth a watch.


Fatman (2020)
Rating: 4/5 who let him make movies again?
This movie is a light-hearted take on Christmas and the failures of Santa, at least through the eyes of Walter Goggins’ character. This is kind of a comeback movie for Mel Gibson after his numerous personal failures, some that make it ironic with him playing a very Christian character while personally being a drunk and hating Jews / black people. Gibson’s last bit makes it all the more surprising that the amazing Marianne Jean-Baptiste would sign on to play his wife giving a modern interracial Claus family. Really surprising that despite his history that his career freeze has “thawed” as they say in the industry and that he is being given a second chance. While he can be a great actor, essentially bringing the same character “Porter” from Payback (1999) to play Santa, I have to wonder is Hollywood so hurting for actors that they would accept him back after his sordid history?

Oh sorry, enough of that shitbag that can act well. Fun movie, two great actors as main characters, fun and simple story, it really brings the true spirit of Christmas in my eyes. Think [generic assassin movie] + Toys + [cynical Christmas movie] and you know what are you in for. Worth a watch, but don’t pay for it which shows support for Gibson. Find another way to watch it for free and then find a way to support Baptiste and Goggins directly instead. Did I mention fuck Gibson?


The Midnight Sky (2020)
Rating: 2.5/5 The movie belongs on a fiery earth
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Netflix
Based on a book I didn’t read, this movie adaptation brings some star power with Felicity Jones and George Clooney. Without spoiling, the movie screamed “this is not what it seems” from the beginning so the ending was not as impactful as it could have been. Earth on fire and nearly uninhabitable? Sure! A two (?!) year voyage to the nearest habitable planet outside the solar system? OK! Man losing supplies then falling into arctic water and surviving? Prepare to suspend disbelief in the worst way. Overall, I suspect this is a case where the movie just didn’t do the book justice and fell short.

[Update: @_pronto_ pointed out they traveled to a moon of Jupiter, not outside the solar system. But still, a new moon of Jupiter that we didn’t know about is a viable alternative to Earth and Mars apparently isn’t?]


2067 (2020)
Rating: 2.5 / 5 – Science friction is more like it
Reference(s): IMDB Listing
For fans of the sci-fi genre, I don’t know if I should recommend 2067 or not. On one hand I like near-term sci-fi and I like dystopian films, which this offers both of. On the other, there are quite a few annoying bits about this, primarily the cast. I didn’t give two shits about anyone and most were annoying enough that I wanted them to die. Throw in a couple completely illogical things to advance the plot, a sign of bad writing in my opinion, and it just didn’t mesh well. It was good enough that, a ways in, I was willing to stick with it just to see how it ended. Recommend for watching while working, doing a puzzle, or falling asleep to.


The Jesus Rolls (2019)
Rating: 2/5 between 7-10p split, don’t watch
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
Did you know there was a spin-off to The Big Lebowski? Neither did I until recently. It follows a brief part of Jesus’ life, but not really his life bowling unfortunately. This is basically the story of two hapless and idiot guys on the lowest-end crime spree you can imagine. The humor is also some of the lowest-end too; there wasn’t that much to laugh about as the bit comedy was lacking overall. I’d pass on this and re-watch the dude. On the upside, we do learn the story behind the sex offender registry.


War Inc (2008)
Rating: 1/5 Disown the “spiritual cousin”
Reference(s): IMDB Listing || Amazon
John Cusack plays an assassin in this movie co-starring Joan Cusack and Dan Aykroyd … no, he does in this movie too. According to Wikipedia, Joan Cusack said, “.. in a way, it was a Grosse Pointe Blank 2” while John Cusack said it was a “spiritual cousin to Grosse Pointe Blank”. Sure, I can see that but it isn’t nearly as amusing. Intended to be political comedy & commentary (comedary?) it comes across as a cliché to other cliché films while borrowing from characters from the prior film. Rather than go with more subdued humor around a military presence in a fictional Middle Eastern country, they opted to go over-the-top and it really detracted from the potential. Skip this, (re)watch GPB instead.

Altered Carbon Nudity Index

For those who know me, they are well aware that I have a slight ‘spreadsheet’ problem. More specifically, Google Sheets since they are collaborative and sync across devices. Not the point! I tend to make Sheets for more and more things and track many data points in my life around my health. I also have my fair share of less useful sheets and my friends are quick to volunteer me to make a new one.

In other cases, sometimes a Sheet full of data is the only way to solve a friendly disagreement. A while back someone asked me what the “oddest” thing I have tracked was. I think the title of this blog post spoiled the answer to that.

What might be more amusing is the conversation that sparked the creation of that sheet, and what disagreement it resolved (the ratio of nudity between men/women in Altered Carbon). ‘J’ericho and ‘F’riend for the dialogue that has been edited slightly for readability:

F: I finished altered carbon last night, binged in one sitting
J: I started it again. There was floating penis in the first 10 seconds of the show?
F: I saw two [penises]. Total. I stand by my complaint.
J: You are judging based on the # of distinct penises, not the frequency of seeing said penises. How many distinct sets of boobs were there?
F: 87654. And frontal fur patch at least 3-4. Total imbalance. The P:B/B (Penis to Bush/Boob) ratio sucked.
J: Need a spreadsheet with incidents by episode, duration, comments like “at a distance, floating in water”, for objective analysis.
F: I use an obviously visible for 2+ seconds rule
J: I wouldn’t. There are times where it could flash for a second but be VERY prominent and count.
F: Obscure millisecond drive by penis hardly counts when they do close ups on boobs. And half the Clothes were stupidly see through. We need to discuss metrics. Asses should be weighed at half value. They are gender neutral.
J: Once you have the base data, you can figure out your formulas.
F: I stand firmly behind the P:B/B metric.
J: But need the base data first!
F: I think we have advanced to next level data nerding 🙂
[..]
J: Curious how you missed the blatant penis in S01E02
F: That was the one in the crypt right?
J: Penis 1 was in the Bancroft vault, penis 2 was in the Jack Me Off sex club.
F: Oh I forgot it? Or missed it
J: See! Boob bias!
F: Or it was unremarkable
J: It was prominent, gratuitous cock.
F: Come ON! I’ll go inspect.
J: Time stamp is in sheet.
F: A time stamp, in the sheet. Anything less would be not up to your standards

Ultimately, the data proves that she was right, the P:B/B ratio was heavily skewed toward female nudity, and I was right that her perception of the ratio was slightly off.

See? Good data can answer a lot of questions.

For those who appreciate obscure data, you’re welcome:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14FUc9ejRNNgNCUzTBXNvy_aDtPM2hhPkKgqubfu2MHE/edit?usp=sharing

When Reality TV Rears Its Ugly Head

I really do love the show COPS. I’ve seen 99% of the episodes over 28 seasons, and there are ~ 25+ episodes per season. The show is absolutely real, but they certainly cherry pick the scenes, and the officers they follow. Further, the TV show is built on a premise of formula of one violent takedown, 1 drug bust, 1 family domestic (if memory serves, and is based on material that is heavily criticized). So tonight, watching the latest episode… cop in the car says: “There was an anonymous caller that just uh… told us there was a warrant suspect in the back yard… he’s known to run from us, he’s alluded capture before so.. we’re going to see if we can uh… take him into custody here…”

Yep, stop there. This is where the TV show, shows its hand so to speak, and demonstrates how it is not objective at all. Nothing about that one minute intro makes any logical sense. The responding officer wouldn’t say “anonymous caller”, as 911 dispatch takes the calls and knows who they are speaking to (even if anonymous, they know the address and name registered to a line with few exceptions). How many people stop to read the most-wanted posters that the local post office? You do? Great, they don’t show local warrant suspects. Those aren’t posted anywhere that I have seen, ever. Known to run from police? The cop knows exactly who they are dealing with then, which is a positive ID. Escaped before? Why… rare case the police stop pursuit during a chase… so, moving on!

The more compelling reason to watch this show? It is reality TV that demonstrates why no unarmed person should EVER be shot by a police officer, no exception. This show actually broadcasts cases where the officer screws up, does something that is against policy, or against training. But there is a struggle, and the outcome is beneficial to the public and police, so they air it. I generally don’t blame those officers one bit. They are a half-second too quick to use mace? Fine. But those are the scenes we see… the taser incidents we see, but rarely if ever in a position of dispute. So consider that police are a bit too eager to mace a suspect, or go hands-on (the real bit we should question), on national TV. Is it so wrong to consider that a police officer would step over the ethical line when no cameras around?

There is a movement to put body cameras on police, and I believe that should happen. If we had the budget, I’d want a COPS camera crew following every unit and publishing that material w/o police oversight. I think it would be very telling. Remember… this TV series shows us the BEST that police have to offer. It is filtered and approved at multiple levels, before it goes to TV.

Now, for your “meta” discussion… it’s 2015, and we’re still seeing violent take-downs of suspects over flakes of marijuana. They are offered deals in the field to admit to their crime, or arrested for having personal-use volumes (by Colorado law), which are illegal in other states. Why is the TV show COPS still showing us these ‘dramatic’ scenes where police officers use physical force over the presence of personal-use levels of marijuana, and someone that is nervous in the face of police, especially when they are minority?

This episode? The suspect says they won’t answer questions until they get an attorney. The cop keeps asking questions… ON NATIONAL TV. Was the officer not trained on Miranda? I’d say YES, since the same cop was reading the Miranda warning from a card they kept in their pocket. If a cop pulled a card to read me my rights? Part of me would appreciate it, as they are doing it to make sure they are read correctly. Part of me would be scared, because they are a professional LEO supposedly… and haven’t memorized the relatively short Miranda warning. If they can’t remember those few sentences, why are they enforcing the law?

Again, I am a fan of the show in many ways. It reminds our society that police activity is not safe, and that law enforcement puts themselves into situations that endangers their lives every single day. But when a heavily edited TV show that has served as propaganda since seasons one, shows police clearly stepping over the lines? The producers need to consider what the fuck they are broadcasting to the world. They are either proper journalists (no..), or sloppy (yes..), and need to quit their jobs.

Shan Yu had a point.

BOOK: Have you ever read the works of Shan Yu?
SIMON: Shan Yu, the psychotic dictator?
BOOK: Yep. Fancied himself quite the warrior poet. Wrote volumes on war, torture… the limits of human endurance.
SIMON: That’s nice…
BOOK: He said “live with a man 40 years, share his house, his meals, speak on every subject. Then tie him up and hold him over the volcano’s edge. And on that day you will finally meet the man.”
SIMON: What if you don’t live near a volcano?
BOOK: I expect he was being poetical.

I am a sucker for a movie or TV show that presents a compelling scene or story, that conveys a complicated topic most humans will never experience, or likely never fully grasp with any bit of reality. I am a bigger sucker when such a scene or story starts taking on a small shred of reality, in a different context, that I can piece together.

While I can’t compare my point to being held over a volcano’s edge, I feel that slowly meeting and getting to know someone over 20 years and watching a variety of mental toils take effect, may come in a distant second. In addition to compassion fatigue, spending decades in an industry you believe in that keeps failing, no matter how hard you try to improve, wears a person down in many ways. Some of them often destructive to themselves and those around them.

We’ve reached a point in InfoSec where there are hundreds, maybe thousands of veterans that are reaching a critical mass. The number of disillusioned professionals that cannot tolerate their beloved industry is incredible. Some I know have sworn off the industry, vowing to work outside their niche market, and forsake the rest of the industry. This is great for them, bad for the industry who could desperately use their experience and knowledge, and absolutely fair to both. I won’t get into the debate of “oh but there is a next generation“, and just say that a community who loses a significant portion of their elders will suffer tremendously, even if they don’t realize it until many decades later.

if Shan Yu were on social media, I think he would be fascinated watching the story unfold, and amazed at how much he could learn about people during their industry-induced downward spirals.

My kind of reality TV…

Reality TV has become a staple for U.S. television. We all know that a majority of the shows are complete trash, and yet millions tune in religiously to watch them. In some cases, it is no different than watching a car wreck or a scene of utter amazement. Almost everyone who watches TV has at least one reality show they watch, even if it is a guilty pleasure. I certainly have a few.

Survivor used to be an entertaining show, but went downhill over the years as their attempts to inject a fresh angle were poorly executed and simply not creative. Hell’s Kitchen is entertaining, but primarily because Gordon Ramsay delivers a level of verbal abuse that would make some drill sergeants nod in respect. COPS has become routine, but I still enjoy it when a dumbass shows the textbook way to get tased. Ninja Warrior (Japan more than US) is entertaining, as it demonstrates a level of physical ability that few will ever know. I watch these shows because of the entertainment value, but also as background noise while working. They simply aren’t engaging enough on their own to warrant full attention.

There are two reality shows that stand out to me, as they went in a different direction. Instead of throwing people into a scripted and absurd situation before calling it ‘reality’ (e.g. Big Brother, Jersey Shore), some shows throw people into a very different situation for our entertainment, and education.

Solitary

From Wikipedia:

Solitary is a reality show on the Fox Reality Channel whose contestants were kept in round-the-clock solitary confinement for a number of weeks with the goal of being the last contestant remaining in solitary…

And that is the beauty of this show. For most competitions determining elimination, contestants were competing against themselves. Confined in their rooms, with only a robotic voice giving direction at times, they would keep doing a given task that got more difficult until they could take no more. At that point, they would hit a buzzer to indicate they were done. Each time they hit the buzzer, they had no knowledge of the other contestants so they never knew if they were the first to buzz out. As such, each contestant gave it their all. In addition to the eliminations via contests, some physical, some mental, they were participating in a larger contest every minute. When the pressure of being alone after having their identity stripped (they were only referred to as a number by the computer voice) was too much, they could buzz out of the entire contest.

No social game, just a test of self determination to see the extent a person can persevere.

The Colony

From Wikipedia:

The Colony is a reality television series that is produced by the Discovery Channel. The program follows a group of people who must survive in a simulated post-apocalyptic environment.

Season 1 is set in a post-apocalyptic Los Angeles, with 10 people living in an abandoned warehouse. While food and water is a daily struggle for them, the group is well-stacked for creativity and ability. Handyman, carpenter, machinist, computer scientists, and more. By the end of the show they have solar power, lighting, a shower, working radio (transmitter and receiver), and a lot more in the way of living. The group is put through many tests, often in the form of raiders, or other survivors begging for food and water to test the group’s unity. After surviving for almost sixty days, and losing one group member to an unknown incident, they are given a chance of escape and do so. The simulation is pretty well done and gives a rough idea of what life might be like. It shows how each person copes, how the group bonds as well as fights, over the smallest things. Commentary from an engineer, psychologist, and disaster consultant give insight as to what they are building, their mental state, and what options they have given the landscape.

Some of my gripes about season 1 are addressed early in season 2. Instead of attackers that push, shove, and menace, the colonists in season 2 are instantly pepper sprayed by the first large band of marauders. This forces them to use precious supplies like milk to neutralize the stinging. Season 2 also carries more dead weight; not everyone has life training in a discipline that has immediate use. A 22 year old model and a 70 year old man are in the group, giving a better spectrum of who may survive. Set on the edge of the bayou, this colony simulates a viral outbreak where every encounter with marauders must be done with masks and the threat of exposure. If possibly exposed during the struggles, they must self-quarantine themselves for 12 hours, and are only allowed to rejoin the colony if there are no signs of infection (e.g. fever, vomiting). In each case, while simulated, it gives a good glimpse into what a lack of society looks like. It shows how our minds work and how we can quickly descend into the types of people we looked down upon weeks earlier.

Know of any other reality shows along these lines? Let me know!