Poetry #51: reason

[This was originally published in F.U.C.K. poetry Issue #51. The publish date is approximate.]


	comfort leads to the path of love
	some sort of mirror reflecting essence
	illogical thought forming a bond
	we brand it with an 'L' word and don't care beyond
	simple satisfaction and shreds of happiness
	pursuit of a better mental state
	looking for more good than bad
	even that is reason
	almost logic of sorts

Poetry #50: enjoy

[This was originally published in F.U.C.K. poetry Issue #50. The publish date is approximate. It was originally written August 17, 1999.]


	longing, wishing, wrenching, cutting my guts out.
	to find the culmination of happiness
	a world of time spent pursuing
	dreams, beauty, love, art or anything else
	the eternal happy ending with tearful music playing
	slow motion kiss as the world explodes around you

Poetry #49: nowhere to go

[This was originally published in F.U.C.K. poetry Issue #49. The publish date is approximate. It was originally written August 15, 1999.]


	dark shadow of my pen, in wavering candle light
	lead me to a promised land, where words meet wit
	where unabashed i may say as i feel, write as i want
	a place where the clock doesn't hound me, chasing
	life's little unacceptable pleasures par for everyone
	music flows free in all its forms, backing my words
	as if to say i am a lyrical poet, but not
	rather, reprimand me for another misguided soul
	aching by. looking for a sea of tranquility
	to drown in, enjoy a jade shade of pain. bleak
	ending in resolution of a black sheet covered bed
	candle. incense. delirium. solitude. pen and paper

Poetry #45: little piece of my soul

[This was originally published in F.U.C.K. poetry Issue #45. The publish date is approximate.]


	little piece of my soul

	ridiculed out of place
	spit it back in his face

	remove that shred of pride
	by telling him that he lied
	
	revel in his heartfelt pain
	his feelings to you inane

	watch his life crumble to despair
	tell your friends he treated you unfair
	
	cold and cruel your eyes
	their look says one thing: despise

	abusing him your natural high
	how many ways you crucify

	take a little piece of my soul

Poetry #44: fight

[This was originally published in F.U.C.K. poetry Issue #44. The publish date is approximate.]


	kick back, turn down the time and focus
	thinking of a deeper relationship so far gone
	wondering and hoping to see it return
	state of happiness often unmatched   
	with bliss came strife, hand in hand 
	the worst of those times still more real than today's fantasy
	fighting lead to resolution lead to heaven
	each wanting to show our love could be as fierce as our hate
	times like those brought such clarity and comfort
	negated any ill will brought on before
	boldly cast it aside in favor of emotional balance and physical pleasure
	these days, i'd kill for those old fights...

Poetry #42: another bump

[This was originally published in F.U.C.K. poetry Issue #42. The publish date is approximate.]


eyes blind to the sun
i feel my faithless soul
pour forth from fingertips

if not the need to feel
flight from pain would be king
seven elements of strife i dare not define
a worthy partner may bring three
more lends to reconsider
crown of pain that blinds
unfeeling sympathy turned inward
familiar numbness quicker to take
drag back the solitude as it slithers away
reconstruct the shell few could break
her forgiven, myself reduced to shame
and with the passing wind
another bump in life, forgotten but felt

Poetry: forsaken

[This was originally published on attrition.org. The exact publication date is not known. This was written between 1998 – 1999.]


        forsaken, lest my gods roam
        todays scorn mixed with yesteryear shame

        igh nah sergaht
           nith ra tu ze dah'
              - and my shame runs deep

        lonely tear flees from mine eye
        crashes down onto a denim knee
        finally caught in my only lie
        blind reading of a history i didn't see

        muinq'elare' de solarith
           se' pah sempre ilrah
              - for guilt is a ruling passion

        eighty two decades in one stay
        long nights in an otherwise short life
        a world rapidly on the downward spiral
        another last chance to right my wrong

        az de larr telorono 'cha
           min ara'stuhl to endenare'
              - to kill the sadness

        one trespass into restricted thinking
        to flesh out the pain we feel
        the solitude we want, we demand
        irony splashes off our reality again

        with pain
        one is undone
        and attrition is my name